It’s been a little over week since we welcomed our beautiful boy into this world. And what a whirlwind it’s been. Full of highs and lows, tears and laughter. But most of all, love. I never imagined a little boy being mine, but now that he’s here I can’t see it any other way.
Before I dive into his actual birth, I want to talk a little about the experience I had with planning a home birth. I feel like I could write an entire book on my experience with planning and seeing a home birth through. Never did I think a home birth would be something I’d consider. But after two hospital births that were beautiful in their own way, yet also complicated and traumatic, I knew I wanted something different for my third birth. After seeing someone who I’d been following on Instagram for about 5 years have her first home birth with her fourth child, I was instantly intrigued and felt compelled to start researching home birth and midwifery’s in the area.
Back when I was pregnant with Emma I was so jaded and naive to birth. I said, “I don’t need anyone telling me how to birth a baby. I’m a woman.” But truth be told, women weren’t created to have babies while lying on their backs with numb legs and a needle in their spine. When it’s necessary, it’s necessary. I’m not dismissing the need for doctors in emergency situations, but if it’s not necessary then it seems, to me, that a woman should be educated and empowered when it comes to giving birth, not scared of what God created her body to do. Birth isn’t a medical emergency, it’s a God-given gift. Birth is not bigger than us, it IS us.
So as I searched for a midwifery, I knew that I wanted to work with midwives who wouldn’t force anything or any practices on me that didn’t align with my beliefs, one that would give me the freedom to create the space I wanted for my birth, and one that would empower and educate me in this unknown, uncharted territory of physiological, natural birth.
The first midwifery I found I had sent an email to and when they got back to me they said they were unsure if they had another April opening. So I found another midwifery and was told that they would be closed the month of April. I started to wonder if I was really meant to see things through with a home birth at that point. But then the first midwifery reached back out and said they had one spot left and it was mine if I wanted it. So I prayed about it, talked to Mike about it and then had a consultation with one of the midwives (who saw me most through my pregnancy and ended up being here for Landon’s delivery - so special). After that I made the decision to transfer into the care of Riverside Midwifery and continue the journey of planning a home birth.
Throughout my entire pregnancy, at every appointment, I was heard and valued. I wasn’t just s pregnant body. I was a mother with a child who mattered. Every appointment was about an hour. An hour where I could ask my questions, voice my concerns, get answers, and leave feeling better then when I came. I learned SO much from my midwives. Not just about natural, physiological birth, but about myself as a woman and who God created me to be. My confidence grew and I became so excited to welcome my son into the world. I read books, watched a ton of Home birth videos with my girls so they knew what to expect, and continued seeking answers to questions I had.
And then around 28 weeks came the gestational diabetes diagnosis that threatened everything I’d been working towards. If my numbers couldn’t get under control and I ended up needing insulin, my dream of a home birth would be just that - a dream. Fear crept in and Satan started telling me lies. I began to question if God would see me through this home birth or if this was, again, just my will and God closing the door because it wasn’t His. But after weeks of finger pricking and sugar readings, a three hour glucose test showed that I was NEGATIVE for GD! I was in awe of God and His provision. The doubt I’d had was released and I felt God moving and working in my life as I moved forward in this pregnancy.
Finally, what I thought was “the end” was drawing near. Having had my oldest at 39 weeks and my second at 40 I had zero reason to think I’d be pregnant beyond that. But alas, 40 weeks came and went and I was starring straight into my 41st week of pregnancy. Queue the fear once more. I know a lot of, actually most, women go past 40 weeks, but I was starting to worry because I make big babies, it didn’t seem like progress was taking place and we couldn’t afford a BPP ultrasound every three days at $260 a pop once I went past 41 weeks. So my midwife, Nikki, who was the one I saw most throughout my pregnancy and felt most connected with said she could do a membrane sweep to see if we could get labor going. I wanted to accept and refuse at the same time. I wanted to “do it on my own,” but I also realized I could say yes to it and surrender the outcome to the Lord. If it worked, awesome. If it didn’t, that was okay too. So, I said yes, and this is how our boy entered the world…
Friday 4/21/23 12:30pm: I had the first membrane sweep done at home. I later began having super light surges (contractions) but they would stop when I rested or sat down.
Saturday 4/22/23 7:30am: I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, diarrhea and bloody show (progress!). Surges would come throughout the day, but like the day before, by the time I went to bed, they stopped and I didn’t have anymore throughout the night. I had been so sure he was coming but alas, not yet.
Sunday 4/23/23 6:45am: I woke up again feeling off, having diarrhea and losing more of my mucus plug. As Sunday progressed I continued to lose mucus but I wasn’t convinced anything was changing, so my mom came to watch the girls while Mike and I went to Home Depot together and out to lunch to pass time. During that time I had texted Nikki and she said she’d come to do a second membrane sweep if I was “really motivated,” which I was, so she did. But not before I was outside digging in the dirt planting the plants that we’d bought at Home Depot.
Sunday 4/23/23 4:30pm: Second membrane sweep was done. Surges came a little later off and on. I didn’t think anything of it. This seemed to be a pattern, so I waited for them to stop when I laid down for the night.
Sunday 4/23/23 9:00pm: I got into bed expecting the surges to stop but they continued even though I was in bed! That’s when I knew and when I started getting excited. I tried to rest/sleep until about midnight when surges were happening every 15 minutes or so and had started gaining in intensity.
Monday 4/24/23 12:15am: I called my mom and told her to start heading over but not to rush because I was still doing okay even though the surges were getting more intense.
Monday 12:30am: After contacting my mom I made the decision to contact my doula as well and asked her to come over too.
Monday 1:45am: I told Mike to start getting the pool set up. I knew things were progressing faster now and it wouldn’t be long before Landon was here. My surges were increasing in strength and getting closer together. I was no longer in this world. Every surge led me into deep concentration, groaning through every second of the surge while squeezing combs into the palms of my hands to help take my focus off the intensity of the surge and to focus on my breath.
Monday 1:55am: My doula, Alyssa, arrived and I had just asked my mom to call my midwife to tell her to come too. I wanted everyone there. Mike and Alyssa continued getting the birth pool set up.
After that I didn’t keep track of time. At some point my midwife arrived. I labored back and forth between the birthing ball and the bathroom. The surges in the bathroom were so much more intense because my body was also emptying itself at the same time. I continued to squeeze the combs into the palms of my hands during every surge to help with the intensity of them.
Around 3:35am or so I was finally able to get in the pool. The pool had been too hot so my mom and Nikki worked on cooling the water. So when I was finally able to get in the water I was so excited and ready. I stood in the water through a surge and after it ended I submerged my lower half in the water.
It was the most incredible feeling. As soon as I hit the water I felt the transition come and Landon descending. My mom went to wake Emma and soon after Autumn came waddling in too. I was so happy to have my baby girls in there with me. They asked to be apart of this no matter the time, and they got there just in time! I was in another world somewhere between here and heaven. I reached down between surges and I could feel the top of his head and knew within a few pushes he’d be here. So I waited.
Every surge he’d move down and then back up a little. Finally when what was the last surge came my body naturally bared down and my water broke. Right after my water broke I felt the “ring of fire” and then his head was out. The rest of him followed right after via the fetal ejection reflex. At 3:50am I scooped him up out of the water and brought him to my chest. I caught my own baby! We had done it. Me, Landon and the Lord, with the support of my sweet husband, my children, mother, doula and midwife. As I came back to this world, I did so with my newborn son in my arms, and it was the most incredible feeling.
The birth of Landon was everything we prayed it would be. God saw us through it all. He was before us and beside us the entire time. Looking back at the video and pictures of Landon’s birth I am amazed at the strength God gave me and what my body was able to do because I was working with my body, not against it, because I was at peace and not afraid.
Landon Michael Elijah Patterson
4/24/23 3:50am 9lbs 9oz 21” long
Just amazing! I think you should write that book!