I think it’s a really common question to ask, “so how are you feeling about being ____?, on milestone birthdays. At least until 50 and then I feel like it’s bad juju to ask. That being said, I’ve been asked multiple times how I feel about being thirty and here’s the simple answer...
emotional.
Thanks for stopping by. The end.
Just kidding. This is my blog and the space where I let it go (I know you just sang that. Get it, Elsa). So, I’m emotional. What’s new? But this is a different kind of emotional. I’m not mad about turning 30 or sad or having dreaded it or anything like that.
I am emotionally in awe of Gods hand in my life.
In the last decade of my life I...
+ moved out of my moms.
+ got engaged.
+ lost my grandfather to pancreatic cancer a month before my wedding.
+ got married.
+ went on the best honeymoon to Nassau (Shaggy was there. No, not from Scoobydoo. Thats not what made it great though).
+ experienced both of my parents ending their second relationships/marriages after experiencing their divorce when I was 9.
+ walked through a debilitating and extremely dark time of depression and severe anxiety.
+ struggled with infertility for almost three years.
+ graduated college.
+ got my first really good paying job.
+ got pregnant for the first time without medical intervention after a year of treatment and thousands spent.
+ lost a cousin in a tragic car accident the day I found out I was pregnant.
+ became a mommy to my emma
+ witnessed my great grandmother holding her great-great granddaughter.
+ lost my great grandmother a month later.
+ quit my job to be a Homemaker
+ lost some friendships and made new ones too.
+ continued building a home with Mike.
+ got pregnant again.
+ survived the pandemic.
+ had a baby during the pandemic.
+ started a business with Young Living.
+ helped my husband start his own HVAC business and...
+ celebrated my autumns first birthday
And that’s not a comprehensive list by any means. The point of it is to show you that the hard and the beautiful can coexist. That if you allow Him, God can take your pain and turn it into purpose. God can take the good and bless it even more. He can do unimaginable things with your life if you let Him. And as I look back on the last ten years of my life, hindsight is 20/20. God was there weaving my life together, the painful moments and the beautiful ones. Giving birth is excruciatingly painful, but equally as beautiful. I’m saying it again, God can take the pain and give it purpose.
That. All of that and so much more is what has me so emotional. To think and reflect on how much my Creator loves me, cares for me, holds me, listens to me, and watches over me through everything. Nothing I do is irrelevant to Him. Nothing I experience is too much for Him.
My twenties were beautiful. Beautiful and hard. I’m grateful for every moment. Big and small. And I welcome my 30’s with open arms.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” - Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT
all my love,
Rachael
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